Freedom

I find that all I want to do is write right now.
Can you tell?
This is my fourth post here this week.
And I wrote another one over on my business site.
That's what I'm calling it now...
My Business Site.
I've separated myself into two people...
Andrea Maurer: Creativity, Innovation and Personal Develop Coach, and...
Rambling Shmee.
Guess which one I like being more?
Uh huh...
Rambling Shmee.
Why?
Because Rambling Shmee can write about and be whomever she wants to be.
She doesn't have to adhere to any marketing dos and don'ts or conventional wisdom.
She can just show up and be herself.
Andrea Maurer has to stay focused and on point.
She has to be serious and professional and completely in control.
The whole thing is so ironic that I want to cry and scream and throw things.
(Don't be alarmed... I rarely throw things.)
The irony is that over there, my focus is on helping people be more creative in their lives.
I wrote an ebook a couple of weeks ago, called The Case for Creativity and Five Ways to Power Yours Up, Now!
It's good.
I mean it's really good.
I make the connection between creativity and idea generation and living on purpose.
Then, I tell you what you need to do put yourself in a position to bring that connection and its power to your own life.
In that section, I say - no fewer than three times - that creativity requires two things: space and freedom.
That's the ironic part.
I'm over there trying to be an expert on creativity but in order to be an expert I've denied myself one of the key ingredients to actually being creative... freedom.
Over here, I'm being more creative because I feel free to do so. 
GRRRR!
And also, ARGH!
So, how do I rectify it?
How do I allow myself the freedom necessary to be the best, most authentic creativity expert I can be?
I don't know yet.
What I do know is that every time I get to the point where I feel like I'm becoming two people, the discomfort of that becomes the catalyst for big change.
It's happened multiple times over my lifetime.
It's a thread, the plot to my own life story, a theme song.
Torn between two people... Feeling like a fool.... 
Altogether now!
(eh hem)
Sorry.
Anyway, you get the picture, right?
It's about separation.
I gotta be free to be me.
Otherwise, I implode.
I don't know where all this is going, really.
I don't have a way to gracefully end this post and tie it all together with a pretty little bow.
The pieces to this puzzle haven't slid together yet.
There is something big here.
That much I know for sure.
At the very least, I'm getting a lesson on creativity.
And right now, I'm wondering if I should be posting this over on my other site.
It's clear that in order to be the best me I can be, I need space and freedom.
And, for now, I've found it here.
Clearly, that's subject to change.