// The Ramblings of Shmee: Truth

Friday, January 17, 2014


Life is hard for me right now.
There, I said it.
It wasn't easy.
I have a hard time admitting when I'm having a hard time.
I guess I believed that all that self-helpy, soul-searching and coaching stuff I've been doing for most of my life would somehow eventually get me to the point where I'd either stop having hard times or I'd be able to rise above it all and not let it bother me.
Isn't that what enlightenment is?
Not that I think I'm enlightened.
I don't.
I think I'm human.
And part of being human is having to deal with the fact that sometimes life is hard.
Or maybe it is that sometimes we have a harder time dealing with life than others.
I don't know.
What I do know is that right now I'm having a hard time.
I can act like I'm not.
In fact, I'm pretty good at that.
I can grin and bear it like a boss.
But when I do, it makes things worse.
There's a pressure that's created by holding it all in.
I don't want to be a whiner/complainer.
Who the hell does?
But I also don't want to lie.
I don't want to be part of the problem.
That problem is the loneliness and isolation that comes from pretending that our lives are perfect, that we don't struggle, that we don't need help or support.
No one's life is perfect. Everyone struggles. We all need help and support. 
And that's NEVER going to change.
You can own that without letting it defeat you.
In fact, the only way it can defeat you is if you won't own it.
You can also own it without being negative and self-absorbed and annoying.
It's not about proving that you've got it worse than everyone else...
It's about operating from the assumption that you're the same.
In an interview with Oprah, Anne Lamott said, "When you speak the truth, it becomes Universal."
I love that.
I love Anne Lamott.
Because her truth speaks to my truth.
If she hadn't been so honest and forthcoming in her books, I'd have never felt that connection.
There was a time when that connection saved me.
I've been saved many times throughout my life.
Isn't that the way it works for all of us?
We're saved over and over again by our parents and our partners and our children and our friends.
We save each other.
Not by pretending we've got it all figured out.
But by admitting that we don't.
We save each other by risking something, by reaching out, by speaking our truth.
We weren't meant to go it alone.
Human infants are the least self-sufficient creatures on the planet.
In order to survive, we cried when we needed something and in turn someone then met those needs.
Our very existence as a species depends on both our ability and willingness to ask for help and our ability and willingness to care for each other.
That doesn't end when we reach adulthood.
We never stop needing each other.
I hope we never do.

No comments: